M17: Dude. You okay?
M26: (picks herself up and dusts herself off) Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You're me--I mean, Meredith, right?
M17: Um, yeah.
M26: Good. Then I'm in the right place. Hi, I'm you, from the future.
M17: Uh ... huh. Is this like that story I wrote--
M26: The one with the girl who travels back in time two years and keeps having to deal with copies of herself? No. Not at all.
M17: Cool, you've heard of me! So does that book get published in the future?
M26: If it does, it hasn't by the time you're 26. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because there are some things about yourself you need to know, and I'm hoping I can save you some pain and trouble. You're pretty miserable right now, aren't you?
M17: I don't know as I'd say miserable, but ... well, kinda lonely a lot of the time.
M26: Yup. Been there. It's your first year of college, all your friends from high school are elsewhere except for April Ellis and Scott McCrosky who are usually busy doing something else, and you spend most of your time hanging out with Paul Amici, who's besotted with April; Andy Becker and Don Large, both of whom follow you around like puppies and you don't know why; and Richard the Damned, see above. Am I right?
M17: Yeah, pretty much.
M26: I'm gonna clear some things up for you. What you haven't figured out yet is that they're all into you because you're a geek chick, and they just don't have the courage or self-assurance to step up to the plate and say something about it. So let me ask you a quick hypothetical question. What do you think you'd do if one of them did?
M17: Uhh ... I dunno. I mean, they're all really nice guys, and if one of them was interested, then I probably should--
M26: Okay, wait, stop right there. You have to understand that there is no should. Whatever they happen to feel about you, that's all them. You're not obligated to do a goddamn thing, understand?
M17: I don't think I'm obligated. But I like all the attention, and if I don't respond in kind...
M26: Then what? You think they wouldn't hang out with you any more? You think you'd lose all future chances if you don't jump at one in the present? Kiddo, I know you because I've been you. You remember what it was like to be thirteen and completely alone, and you're terrified of turning anyone or anything down because you don't ever want to feel like that again. Well, look, after nine years of this shit, I can tell you that it does get better. By the time you're me, you're not going to be angsting over whether anyone's interested in you -- you're going to be angsting over whether you turned that guy down gently enough because you genuinely want to be friends with him and nothing else.
M17: Don't other people hate that?
M26: Well, yeah, they do. But there's nothing you can do about it. You're responsible for your own feelings and that's all. It isn't your fault if you're going on minding your own business and some guy decides he wants to make you his business. Just be kind, be benevolent, and look after what you want.
M17: ... I don't know what I want.
M26: (sighs) Yeah. Yeah, that's the problem, innit. And I can't tell you that. You get to find it out on your own.
M17: Do you know?
M26: Maybe. (pause) Maybe not. (long pause) Oh, and one other thing. This whole business about living 45 minutes away from the guy you love and not having a car -- that shit's for amateurs. Just so you know.
M17: Uh ... huh. (another long pause) By the way, nice hair.
M26: Thanks. You're going to meet this really great stylist when you move to I--
(MEREDITH, AGE 26 is drawn screaming into the sky by unseen forces and disappears.)
M17: Move to I? I what? Iceland? Ireland? I wonder where she meant...
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maradydd- Meredith L. Patterson
- thesmartpolitenerd.com
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The only Richard Bach I've read was Jonathan Livingston Seagull, which was pressed on me by the aforementioned Richard the Damned. He also mentioned Illusions and some other thing, but never got around to loaning them to me and I never got around to hunting them up myself.
i'd definitely recommend reading illusions. and i believe it's running from safety that takes richard and his wife back in time to talk to several of their former selves.
bridge across forever is my favorite, but i'm not so sure you and i share the same sort of romantic ideals.
Honestly? I have no idea what my romantic ideals are any more. I know I want someone who blows me away on any number of levels, who comes in and shatters all my preconceptions about people ... I'm just not convinced I'll ever, you know, live within a hundred miles of a person like that :P
J21: No. I know it might seem like that, but..
J27: No. Trust me on this. Things will be a hell of a lot easier if you admit this to yourself. Hell, admit it to her as well. There is nothing wrong with telling someone you are attracted to them even if they aren't interested. It'll help stop you from convincing yourself that you think of her as a friend and yet need to stop yourself from thinking otherwise.
Okay, now let's get rid of some of the metaphysical crap Rand taught you. Rights, whatever the are, aren't natural or somehow objectively given simply from mixing labour [...] 'Psychology egoism' is an entirely and utterly useless concept. If everyone is always an egoist with no exceptions, then the theory doesn't have any bite as it is not falsifible and can't tell use what will happen except after-the-fact. [...] What Rand means by 'existents' and 'identity' is exactly the same thing as Aristotelian essences that must be "grasped" (whatever the hell that means), she just muddles the water to make you think she is doing something else. She's not. [...] Rand apparently hasn't even read the First Critique. Look at the first line of the Introduction to the second edition 'There can be no doubt that all our cognition begins with experience.' [...]
[J21 would be arguing all these points. J27's above monologue would be a heated debate going on for hours, but I don't want to hear it again let alone type it.]
Since everybody else is getting into it, my fantasy conversation with myself would probably have to include the following:
D25: "Okay, you know that guy you're with? The cute one?"
D19: "Yeah?"
D25: "The next time you talk about your hopes and dreams for the future? Actually listen to each other that time. One of you wants very different things from the other."
D19: "Okay...but I'm not sure why. I mean, I barely even know the guy, let alone.."
D25: "Just trust me. Furthermore, the one that's with him, that you suspect follows him around all the time as a result of an unrequited crush? You're instincts are pretty accurate on that..."
D19: "I was almost certain."
D25: "...but it's not the proverbial 'dead elephant in the living room that everybody's afraid to mention'. You're the only one who knows."
D19: "You're kidding!"
D25: "Nope. In fact, at this point in the timeline, I'm not even sure he...oh, to hell with it. Fuck causality. I'm going to go talk to them."
[D19, very confused, goes back to whatever she was reading, as D25 disappears to a brief conversation with the two individuals in the corner.]
D25 [coming back]: "There, now that that's all out in the open...well, good luck with all that. But what I really wanted to say is this: all those things you're interested in doing, but talk yourself out of because you used all your energy on crappy relationship angst, and trying to make other people feel better about themselves? Do them. The things, not the people. Crappy relationships and their resultant angst are always going to be there, but these opportunities may not be. Have fun. Take the time to experience more of what you want. Go where you feel like going. And fuck anybody else who doesn't want to come with. Yes, even if you are in love. You're your own person with your own ambitions, and you've got a whole lifetime ahead of you. Got it?"
D19: "Um..."
D25: "Oh, and never sign up for an 8am geology class. You'll just sleep through it or not go to it, and later spend an inordinate amount of time being slightly pissed you missed Magna Cum Laude by less than .02 GPA points."
D19: "Why am I taking geology, anyway?"
D25: "Good question. At any rate, I have to get back and feed the cats. [short pause] Oh, shit! Do I still even have the cats...?"
[D25 promptly vanishes in puff of paradox.]
And, good call. If I had to pick between not going places because a boy didn't want to go and not going places because I had to stay home and take care of the cats, I'd pick the cats any day of the week.
And when I think about it, it's entirely possible that Danielle-at-19 might have adopted at least one of them as a single person, as I was the one pushing hardest for cat acquistion, followed by Nick. An entirely likely scenario would have been me adopting Freyja and Nick getting Frey. I've got to wonder what that would have done to their personalities...
Of course, if I could just go back to about 8 months ago and instead of making plans to go back to the States, make plans to stay in Wales...and thereby avoid the disaster that happened with the travel company we went with...(our tickets never showed up and I'm /still/ trying to get my money back).
*sigh* The possibilities...
Of course, knowing me, I'm stupid and headstrong enough that I might well have done the same things anyhow. I'm not very good at taking advice. Never have been. Particularly unsolicited advice.
Hrm. It might not have done me any good after all, and then I'd just be bitter 'cause I went back and /still/ screwed it all up.
~Your friendly neighborhood Blaze
Kind of like how the song goes: "I wish that I knew all I know now when I was younger..."
Not that I know it all right now though, heh. But I surely know more than I did before.